In a world driven by digital interactions, the realm of online dating has seen a proliferation of forums and groups designed to aid people in navigating the complex world of modern romance.
Among these, “Are We Dating the Same Guy” has gained significant popularity as a space where individuals can share their dating experiences and seek advice on potential partners.
However, a recent lawsuit filed by Nikko D’Ambrosio in the District Court for the Northern District of Illinois has raised important questions about the boundaries of online discourse, privacy, and accountability in the age of social media.
On January 11, 2024, Nikko D’Ambrosio initiated legal action against 27 women, one man, Meta (formerly Facebook), and several social media platforms, alleging defamation, doxxing, and privacy violations. He is seeking damages exceeding $75k and a jury trial, claiming the defendants posted false and harmful statements on the “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” forum. Such groups are meant to verify partners’ status.
Explained: What Is the Famous ‘Are We Dating the Same Guy’ Controversy?
On January 11, 2024, Nikko D’Ambrosio took legal action against 27 women, one man, Meta (formerly Facebook), and other social media companies, like GoFundMe, Patreon, and the website arewedatingthesame.com.
Notably, one defendant resides in Pennsylvania, though specific details about her role in the lawsuit remain undisclosed. He has alleged defamation, doxxing, and privacy invasion.
D’Ambrosio claims that his reputation has been irreparably damaged by statements made in the “Are We Dating the Same Guy” Facebook group. The lawsuit seeks damages exceeding $75,000 and requests a trial by jury.
In his complaint, D’Ambrosio asserts that the defendants posted “provably false and defamatory” statements regarding their dating experiences with him. These posts, he contends, led to personal humiliation, emotional distress, and unspecified lost earnings.
One particular incident mentioned in the lawsuit involves a woman allegedly posting a photo of D’Ambrosio in the group, leading to a cascade of derogatory comments, including accusations of being “psycho” and “very clingy,” as well as ghosting after intimacy.
D’Ambrosio claims that he contacted the defendants in December 2023, requesting the removal of the posts about him, but they were taken down and later re-uploaded anonymously.
The “Are We Dating the Same Guy” group is a forum for individuals to seek information and advice about their dating prospects.
These online spaces fill a need that dating apps may not fully address: verifying a person’s identity, safety, and relationship status.
Participants typically share photos and basic details of their potential partners, leading to discussions ranging from support for budding relationships to red flag warnings.
The original “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” The Facebook group was created to help women determine if someone they were interested in was already dating someone else.
As these groups have grown and spawned local chapters across cities like New York City and Chicago, some members have started requesting user reviews of individuals they are considering dating, often accompanied by screenshots of dating app profiles.
For example, the Chicago subgroup, with over 80k members, aims to “protect, support, and empower other women” without passing judgment on men.
However, despite their noble intentions, these online communities have faced criticism for their handling of privacy, lack of fact-checking, and, at times, malicious intent.
Concerns have also arisen about potential risks for abuse victims and the possibility of legal action against posters.
D’Ambrosio’s lawsuit claims that thousands of men have been “potentially defamed” through these online publications, often without their knowledge due to the private nature and heavily moderated membership lists of these groups.
Seeking compensatory and punitive damages and attorney’s fees, D’Ambrosio underscores the significant impact that online statements can have on an individual’s life and reputation.
D’Ambrosio’s attorney, Daniel Nikolic, explained that they had exhausted other options, including sending registered and cease-and-desist letters, before resorting to legal action.
D’Ambrosio maintains that he and the woman who initially posted about him on the Facebook group had consensual relations but never engaged in an exclusive dating relationship.
Paola Sanchez, one of the founders of “Are We Dating the Same Guy,” was also named as a defendant in the lawsuit. Last year, she launched a GoFundMe campaign to create an app for the group and support its administrators.
However, neither Sanchez nor Meta, Patreon, or GoFundMe commented in response to the lawsuit.
Trent Law Firm, representing D’Ambrosio, has indicated they seek “similarly situated victims.”
It will be interesting to see how this case unfolds.
What do you think about forums like Are We Dating The Same Guy? Do they need better moderation?
Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
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