Lisa Catalano, a 42-year-old vintage clothes retailer from San Mateo, literally bought billboard space to advertise herself as wife material.
Not just one billboard either, she covered 45 miles of Highway 101 between Santa Clara and San Francisco.
So…all the billboards push people to her website, MarryLisa.com, where you can apply to be her husband, or even apply on behalf of someone else.
I think Lisa’s fed up with dating apps, ghosting, and dead-end dates, so this is her last-ditch effort. I mean, she’s good-looking, probably well-off, and her requirements aren’t insane… just very specific.
“People would be shocked if they knew how much this is costing me.”
Lisa Catalano
Lisa’s Non-Negotiables (Must-Haves)
- Relationship: Must want a monogamous relationship, dating with the intent to marry
- Timeline: Comfortable with marriage + starting a family within 2–3 years
- Education: Minimum Bachelor’s degree
- Lifestyle: Healthy lifestyle. No tobacco, marijuana, psychedelics, or recreational drugs. Good hygiene
- Politics: Must be Democratic, liberal, or left-leaning
- Religion: Not particularly religious (okay with spiritual or non-religious)
- Record: No criminal record, non-violent personality
Preferences (Negotiables / Flexible)
- Age: 35–45 (flexible by a year or two)
- Family: Preference for never married, no kids
- Location: Ideally in the San Francisco Bay Area / Silicon Valley
- Appearance: Clean-cut style, Slim to medium build, Minimal tattoos/piercings, No height requirement
Application Form (from MarryLisa.com)
Basic Info:
- First & Last Name
- Phone Number
- Age
- Current City & State
- Occupation
Relocation:
- If outside California, would you consider moving? (Yes/No)
Beliefs & Values:
- Are you religious? Describe your beliefs
- Political affiliation
- Highest education (where from?)
Personal Life:
- Have you been married before? (Yes/No)
- Do you have kids? (Yes/No)
- Do you use tobacco, marijuana, hallucinogens, or recreational drugs? (Yes/No)
- Do you want to get married? (Yes/No)
- Do you want kids? (Yes/No)
Lifestyle & Personality:
- Hobbies & interests
- Describe your personality
- Anything else Lisa should know?
Photos:
- Upload up to 4 photos (Max 15MB each)
Pretty standard.
But here’s the problem.
If Lisa ever sees this, please don’t feel bad, but if you’re in your 40s, look great, and still haven’t found someone?
That’s not just bad luck. Something deeper is off.
The billboard stunt is flashy, but it’s a magnet for the wrong crowd:
- Con artists will see money and try to trap her.
- Player types will see her desperation and go after the easy target.
Husband types?
They’ll think she’s attention-seeking and walk away.
Honestly, this feels more like a publicity stunt, maybe for a book?
If she’s serious, she’d hire a discreet matchmaker, not spend thousands plastering her face on a highway. I kinda love how her website has an option to apply “on behalf of someone else,” but I don’t think it will get the results Lisa wants (I hope she finds love).
So why did this happen?
Because she’s desperate, trying to buy what she couldn’t build organically, and time is running out. That billboard is less about love and more about loneliness.
THE WHY: DESPERATION
Between pouring money on billboard spaces and the balls to try it in public, this gets 2 stars on our weird scale. Still. Good luck, lady!
“Look, most of us want a normal life without any drama, but life in this world is always strange, and uncertain.
I don’t need your email. I don’t want to bug you with a billion notifications. All I ask is this, if you felt something here, if this made you think, laugh, or even shake your head in disbelief, just bookmark ‘Averagebeing.com’ and come back tomorrow.
That’s it. No strings. Just you, me, and this stupid world.”
